Self-care or Giving away power?

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When we get ready to do something and we want to avoid (the possibility of) seeing a certain person, for example, 

we adapt our plans by taking the back stairs or altering our start time - is that self-care or are we giving our power away to that person we'd like to avoid?

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Are there different degrees of loneliness?

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If we don't have personal connection with at least one living person who sees and touches us, how much are we soothed by something lesser - casual social interaction or relationships, time in nature or with Spirit, books/films/music/arts, online interaction, pets? Is loneliness avoided only when someone is a regular part of our life and they respond directly to us in a caring manner and tell us clearly in words or actions that they understand and accept us? 

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Why letting go is so difficult

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Detaching from relationships - personal and professional - is difficult because it asks us to leave the comfort and security of the familiar, even when there are aspects that we've outgrown or don't like, and sometimes when they're harmful. The unknown is scary. Letting go means we'll have to rely on memories, there will be no more opportunities for new or familiar experiences with those people or situations.

 

We often have the same difficulty with physical items. They also provide comfort and security, which can be defined as safety and control (read my article on Comfort here). So we cling to them. What happens if we believe later that it was a 'mistake' to let go? Well, we made a choice at an earlier time for reasons that made sense to us then, assuming we had a choice. Either way, we still have to move forward. 

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If we have emotional issues with rejection and abandonment, especially if they're old wounds from having grown up in less than ideal circumstances, leaving anything, however small or minor, can trigger our old fears. That's when our talent for self-reflecting and going within will help us - are we reacting to something very old that shouldn't have a powerful hold on us anymore?

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Being liminal

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Being liminal, a person who is in between and therefore has a place in more than one of something, can be dificult and it can be mysterious and adventurous. Like many things, it's a matter of perspective - do you focus more on the difficulties or on the benefits. We can be (our heritage) of different cultures, religions. There are many possibilities. Complex people may have an affinity with different lifestyles, beliefs, opinions, careers, politics, gender, race, geography (where you want to live and/or vacation)and much more. 

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Some people have great difficulty, sometimes life-long, when they don't fit neatly into a place or category. They're torn between two worlds. Others choose to be happy and to enjoy their special situation and the creativity it gives them - they forge their own path, gathering from the variety in their life and making a life that's uniquely theirs, including the challenges. This applies also to decisions, especially those difficult ones that can take years. 

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The sadness of knowing the results of having been emotionally numb & mute 

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I just read a post by my favorite nature writer. His stories are so eloquent and soul-stirring and how I wish I had even a bit of that ability. But then I remember how I was when I was younger - how I was so damaged that I often couldn't even participate in conversations with friends. As I read that writer's tales of Ireland and Scotland, I imagine articulating how I feel about places here in Portland, by the river or when I watch the clouds or the crows, or how I feel about other things that touch my heart. But right there is a reflection of my progress - I didn't speak of my heart years ago, it was all about the mind. So I'll continue to read and listen and to admire, and we'll see how much better my voice gets as I continue to open my heart.

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Feeling invisible?

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How do you view yourself? Do you really see and accept all of yourself, the things you like and the things you don't like? Which matters more to you - how you see and value yourself or how other people see you, if you even know what they actually think about you?

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Until you work to raise your opinion of yourself (realistically and with neither insecurity nor arrogance), no amount

of external success or attention or praise will give you what you crave. You must do that.

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Surrealism

The Surrealists were artists and writers who created a movement that, according to the Tate galleries - "explored the workings of the mind, championing the irrational, the poetic and the revolutionary." Drawing on the theories of Sigmund Freud, these artists sought uninhibited expression of the unconscious. For people seeking to heal emotional wounds buried in their unconscious, what can they learn from these artists?